The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
