yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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