What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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