batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
