I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
