I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
