Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
