Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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