its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
