I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
