make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
