If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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