2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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