Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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