ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
