she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The Olympian is in my bed
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
