Where did you get a picture of my penis
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
