I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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