Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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