I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
