I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
