this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My life is pants optional.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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