Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
