Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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