In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
