I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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