Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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