If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
