I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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