If i come over, it means nothing
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
