apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Randomize
