It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
