and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
