If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
