we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
