hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
