Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
