Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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