why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
