Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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