So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ketchup is God's man juice
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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