I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
