i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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