Im at strip club and am horny
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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