isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
