I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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