You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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