lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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