Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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