There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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