It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
