You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
