It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
