Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i believe in u and ur pee
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
