And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
